Almost forgot

Well this is embarrassing...I completely forgot to write a post celebrating the one-year anniversary of when I stopped writing. I swear to god I'd lose my head if it wasn't pretty much permanently attached to the genitals of your parent/sibling/spouse.

Oh well. Better late than never.

Something We're Glad We Don't Hear Much Anymore

"Deep discounts"

Yep. Back.

We've forgotten how to do all of this, and don't really care too much, but...well, why the fuck not?

That's our new motto.

Back???

...this could be your lucky day.

More likely, though, it's just another day where we have nothing to do at work, and look back fondly on the hours of scouring the internet for interesting stories to pilfer and paste on these hallowed pages.

Either way, we're giving serious consideration to coming back from the dead, thanks in large part to the fact that over the last couple of months, when this site was doing nothing but gathering dust, we still averaged slightly more than 1 (ONE!) hit per day.

So to that one person...hi. How's tricks?

What up, Bitch?

We're still alive...just not very talkative. Trying to brainstorm reformatting/retooling, and figured it would be better to just leave this place alone entirely for a little while.
(We know you were worried about us, hence, this post).

Anyway...new things. Later.

Christian Hillbilly Idiots

Thanks again to City Pages' Daily Blotter for unearthing another winner for us to point you to while contributing nothing.

This one's a story from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch about an engaged couple with a non-traditional family who is at risk of being forced out of their Missouri home for not meeting their town's definition of a 'family.'
Olivia Shelltrack and Fondray Loving (...god I love those names) have been told that in Black Jack, MO, unwed couples who share a home are only allowed to have one child living with them. The couple has been together for 13 years. They have three children. The oldest, who is 15 years old, is the result of a relationship between Shelltrack and another man. So, you know, it's a pretty stable relationship. And from the sounds of it, their house is more than a touch nicer than the craphole I live in.
It's also worth noting here that from the photo the story uses, it appears that Shelltrack is white and Loving is black. (But there's absolutely no way that's related to the decision. Right?)


Shelltrack claims in the story that....well, I'll just paste it here for ya:

At the hearing, Shelltrack said, one board of adjustment member, Norma Mitchell,
even pointed at her and asked, "I don't understand why you as a woman didn't
exercise your right to marry that man," before being hushed by another board
member

....

...I will never again let a Republican say that liberals are elitists who talk down to the real Americans in the heartland.
At least not without hitting him or making him look stupid with my superior rhetorical skills.

Anyway, the couple is evidently from the Twin Cities, which as far as I'm concerned is as much America's Heartland as Black Jack, Missouri. So I'd like to take this opportunity to invite Olivia, Fondray and their family back home.

If it doesn't work out with Black Jack, come on up to Minneapolis. I'm sure you'd have no trouble finding a place to live. I hope you guys can get this straightened out without spending too much money, but I bet you'd have plenty of willing donors if it gets expensive.

The Elephant in Your Computer

Man is it boring here tonight. No work to be had, and all the bees in our collective brain are sitting around scratching their asses.
So.

I just read a story...this story, actually. Originally reported by Minnesota Public Radio, but here from ThinkProgress. A short, scary missive about Republicans doing what they do best nowadays, cheating. This time, it's in a CD ROM that evidently both trumpets bread-and-butter wedge issues like abortion and gay marriage and then asks your opinions on many such topics. And here's the kicker: the CD sends your answers, along with YOUR NAME back to Minnesota Republican headquarters. And this info is apparently available on an unnamed website, as well. So, if you took the time to peruse this particular piece of Republican politicking, your boss can find out where you stand on gays, sluts, guns and foreigners. For fuck sake, guys, clean it up a little bit. You're making us look worse than Texas. This is why so many people hate politics.

The MPR Site (a much better read).


Anyway...

It goes against the best practices of blogging, but topic number two...another story. (from the Washington Post). This one's entirely different. And it comes with a personal admission.

Back in the day, I was was an AmeriCorps VISTA volunteer. I spent a year working full time for a living allowance of about $800 a month. It was a great experience, and it allowed me to gain perspective on some important issues while helping out people in the area who needed it.
So I was a bit pissed when I read the above story about Bush's plan to cut one arm of the AmeriCorps program. Specifically, the National Civilian Community Corps. I wasn't a part of the NCCC, and judging from some of the numbers being reported, it wasn't terribly cheap or efficient. So reducing funding to an underperforming program, I wholly understand.
But I'd be willing to bet dollars to peanut M&Ms that the money they're cutting from the NCCC isn't headed back into the AmeriCorps programs. And that's a damn shame. This country needs volunteers. There are plenty of very reasonable reasons why a young American would want to serve their country but would rather not do it in the military. AmeriCorps is the best option those people have, and it would be a great benefit to the America in so many ways if the budget for the program was increased ten-fold, if not more. We can get gifted, idealistic young men and women to work for their country for a fraction of what they're, and I can't figure out why we don't want to spend as much as it takes to let every person who wants to serve do it in the AmeriCorps State and National or AmeriCorps VISTA programs.

I'm too tired to write well...and there is too much fantasy baseball going down tonight. Just thought I should get those two things out there.

Do-it-Yourself Abortion Kit

On the heels of South Dakota's ill-conceived laws governing a woman's reproductive organs, Molly over at Molly Saves the Day has posted a how-to guide for simple, at home abortions.

While I'm more than a little surprised at how safe it apparently is, this is still a really disturbing thing to read. As is tradition here at Ready on the Left, we're just going to link to this piece and let you read it yourself, but something needs to be said first.

We fully support the right of a woman to choose an abortion. We see no way of getting around the fact that sometimes, it just NEEDS to be done. But this is a necessary evil. Reading this very short piece on only the absolute basics of the procedure, from the point of view of someone who is going to attempt it as an amateur, is highly troubling. Molly should be commended for writing and posting it, as we wouldn't have the stomach for it ourselves. But besides being a potentially valuable tool for a woman who has had the path of legal abortion blocked, this piece also serves an important purpose as a deterrent. If only because after reading it, we cannot imagine taking part in that procedure, from either side. And unless it was absolutely necessary, abortion would be a last resort with us.

So, yeah. I really don't like abortion. Ever since I was 17 and met a woman who didn't use birth control and was working on her 5th procedure, and wanted nothing more than to beat the life out of the selfish, stupid bitch.
I can't get it out of my head that we can do more to prevent it than we do. Making it illegal isn't the answer, but neither is pretending it isn't a big deal (Not that many people do).


And while we're on the topic, there's an interesting if terrifying piece in the Washington Post today about the different approaches to Plan B in some of the fifty nifty United States.

Holla back.

A Little Autism Snack

Just something to tide you over for a while.

The story of a 17-year-old kid who is his high school basketball team's equipment manager. Besides having autism (though seemingly being pretty high-functioning) he was considered too short to play at only 5'6". So in the last home game he's a part of, after the team built up a lead and the game was coming to a close, the coach throws the kid onto the floor so that he can actually play for a couple minutes before he graduates.
In four minutes, he throws up 20 points on 6 of 10 shooting from behind the arc. No shit.

Kudos, man. Thanks to your stoy, I'm going back to my JV football coach this weekend and letting him know that I was NOT too fat to play safety. It's that bastard's fault I'm not wearing my Golden Gophers National Championship ring right now.

Identity Crisis

What the fuck's up, y'all?

We're having a bit of an....issue, here. We're anchorless. There's no direction, very little passion, an excess of commas and horrendous quality of content. That, in combination with the workaday life and a general cluelessness about many things political, is forcing us to reevaluate a few things.
This place was meant, from the beginning to be a place where we (by which we mean, of course, I) could exercise the writing and creativity muscles that have been too long dormant. But somewhere in there we started trying (unsuccessfully) to gain readers and be factual and informative above all else...which led us to the PiPress-grade journalism, rife with links and cussing, that you see below. So for the moment, we're thinking that a change is in order. If we had to guess, in the coming days and weeks this place will end up looking more like an anonymous journal than a third-rate politics blog. Since politics are a big part of our life/interests, they'll probably still play a role. We can't just give up on Hugo Chavez...we love that kid too much. Plus, our advancing age continues to kill rock star dreams and replace them with images of ourselves as populist firebrands, tearing down institutes like big money in Washington, big government bashing and the big, ill-informed electorate that voted for George Bush, twice. And in the process, rebuilding politics in America. So...you know, we still like the pols.
So, this is all by way of saying we need to loosen up a little bit if we're going to get anything out of this...and since you're the only person who reads it, what the fuck...what have we got to lose?

Anyway, right now, we're in battery recharge mode. Being alone in the office all night, with little or nothing to do, is leading to way more reading and much less writing than we had expected. But with the start of the fantasy baseball season upon us, it's probably for the best.

For tonight, we'll leave you with something old and something 'new'.

-A short piece in the WaPo's politics blog about push polling, which in short is a way to lie to voters and influence elections. You probably heard about it briefly when G. Dub used it to successfully sabotage John McCain's presidential bid in 2000, back when he was still worth your vote.


-What we're listening to right now:
'...Sleeping is giving in, so lift those heavy eyelids...'

The President's Day Revolution

Happy President's Day. For those who are curious, we'll be celebrating James K. Polk today, and in honor of his sound moral guidance and spectacular single-term presidency, we'll be looking at internet porn and eating a hot dog.

Sill thinking about changes to the site, and right now we're considering taking it on a more personal groove, but for now the ideas, such as they are, are still percolating. Heads up to our scores of loyal readers: We're switching to a later shift at the widget mill for the next few weeks, so updates and whatnot will be later in the day, and other changes may occur.

So while we wait for work, and 8 hours of internet wandering, here's a StarTrib "Meet the Candidates" bit on the 6th Congressional District. Michele Bachmann, by the way, is hilarious. How this woman ever got elected to any office is beyond our ability to comprehend. We don't know a whole lot about the race, but we have to assume she's a longshot for the Republican endorsement. (Because for some reason we still have a little bit of confidence in the electorate.)

Drunk, Naked Friday

We're taking the day off, so we can relax, research Hank Blalock's value in a 12-team, 15 man keeper league, and consider some retooling to the site.

Any suggestions would be more than welcome.

In it For Tha Motherfuckin' Cash

Glenn Harlan Reynolds has an interesting little piece over at TCS Daily about the commercialization of blogging. Reynolds worries over the possibility that blogging will continue on its current path, and that someday soon, it will lose it's amateur appeal.
The column even quotes Andrew Sullivan, who goes about praising the small amateur writer by declaring that a blog with 100 reader can be just as interesting as the blog with a million readers. (Which we find funny, for some reason).

What with all sorts of writers making a living, or at least making a little money by blogging, it makes for an intriguing topic. We've never really gotten on the anti-MSM bandwagon ourselves, and we still get more important news and hard fact from the Washington Post than we could from Kos, Atrios, Captains Quarters, and ten other blogs put together. But we're still going to put and end this worry right now.
Rest easy, lovers of independent media. As long as we're here, there will always be a place for amateur production values, content no one in their right mind would pay for, half-informed crackpot ideas and readers numbering, when we're lucky, in the teens.


In the interest of full disclosure, our Google AdSense ad revenue now stands at $1.34. Well out of the danger zone.

No, You're Not a Republican. Trust Me.

Funny little bit posted over at Power Liberal yesterday about the disturbing trend of conservative Republicans painting themselves as Libertarians. My favorite bit

...If you've ever thought the separation of church and state was a bad
idea, I have to say there's a pretty good chance you're a Conservative. If you
think warrantless wiretapping is okay, son, you're definitely a Conservative. If
you happily voted for George W. Bush, you're certainly not a
Libertarian...

Also, some good commenting going on.

To be honest, it bugs me that Republicans and libertarians associate with each other at all. The only thing that conservatives have to hang their libertarian hats on are low taxes, big business and a lot of talk about small government that by now should be easily recognizable as complete bullshit. But they talk the big game, and they pull some Lib vote. It reminds me a little of the religious right, and how by denouncing abortion and condoms, Republicans have convinced the bulk of the Christian churches in the U.S. that they're the political equilivant of god. This in spite of the horrible environmental record, pro-business/anti-poor policies, hateful, racist homophobes like Ann Coulter and the virtually undeniable fact that Mr. Jesus H. Christ himself was about as liberal as they came back then. And numerous other things.
But that's not what this is about.

This is about a conversation I had not too long ago with a close friend of mine, and the similar conversations I've had with a handful of other friends in the past couple of years.
I have had to sit there, multiple times, with good friends of mine. Hard-drinking, drug using friends. People who couldn't support gay rights more if they were sodomizing on the front lawn of the White House. Artists, freaks and drunkards. Vehemently anti-war people. People who ceaselessly mock the church, regardless of the specific religion. I've had to sit there with people like this and explain to them that they're not Republicans. Seriously. It's not that they've made up their mind and I'm trying to convince them otherwise, either. I have to spell it out for them because once time, someone told them that Republicans are about personal freedom. About lessening government oversight on our lives, keeping politicians out of our personal affairs, and letting us be people. Live and let live.

It makes me sick that these non-political people are fooled. But when I think of how confused some professed Republicans and Libertarians are about this, it boggles my mind.
If progressives could choose only one message to get out between now and the mid-terms, we would have to seriously consider- 'Republicans are not now, and have not been for many years, the party of liberty, responsibility or personal freedom.'

Objects of our Affection

We love it- Criminals with conscience -Two thieves targeting local Wal-Mart stores. If you’ve gotta steal, at least have some good come of it. Kudos.

We love it not- Complaing about stadium noise before the stadium is even built…but we do love that they work with the U for a solution.

We love it- Scott McClellan getting shit from the White House press corp for not telling anyone that the VP shot someone in the face

We love them not- Scott McClellan, the VP or the guy who got shot in the face.

We love it- Amateur athletes who are more generous than the ones who make millions a year.

We really, really love it not- Seven billion dollar giveaways to big oil, funded by the American People.

We love it- That some Republicans actually want to take that money back (salut!).

We love it- Josh “Lemon” Lyman-
"Three quarters of all soft money going into the Democratic Party isn't coming from Labor Unions. It's coming from corporations... Over 100 businesses gave both parties in excess of $125,000 in the last election. They gave it to both parties! That isn't free speech or political values, Mr. Vice-President. I don't know how we've done it but we've legalized bribery.... So what we've got are two corporate parties, one pro-life, one pro-choice."

We love it not- The numbers may be off, but it’s essentially true.

We love it not- Valentines Day. Hallmark, chocolate, and especially diamonds. Screw ‘em all, and wake us up when it’s over.

Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"

You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love. You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!) Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Bush Tries Fucking the Poor with a Slightly Smaller 'Package'

...(see, package has a double meaning there. Get it?)

This is an issue requiring too deft a hand and too broad an understanding of the situation for me to write about. So, quite luckily, someone else already did it for me... here's an interesting op-ed piece from the Post about the President's Health Savings Accounts that should be required reading for all Americans. (Because we should be working towards an America where virtually all citizens believe roughly the same things I do).
The writer draws a fairly convincing line between this plan and last year's failed Social Security privatization, and points out a scary and pretty fundamental affect they could have on the nature of health care in the country. Plus, you know...the rich slaughtering the poor in the latest theater of the Bush-induced class war. I'm getting pretty sick of that.





In other news, we spent the weekend watching, for the 4th time or so, old West Wing episodes from season one. We've come to the following conclusions-
-First and foremost, Education is the silver bullet, and it could help almost every problem we have in this country, including why so many people voted for George Bush.
(This, combined with a stirring lecture on Julia Child and the Muppets from Toby, led to our collective wallet being $100 lighter, and MPR's being equally more hefty.)
- The census is really really important.
- We should relax term limits for our politicians
- Zoey Bartlet is much cuter with short hair
- The American people, especially voters, are poorly served by moderation. There is no longer a left wing. Progressives are a dying breed, as are legitimate conservatives (but they're still in much better shape). Democrats don't say what they believe, and Republicans don't say it enough. This is the desire to retain personal power trumping the desire to do what they think is right.
- Aaron Sorkin is at least 70% of the reason we care about politics at all. We have him to blame for the amount of time we waste writing this. And he doesn't know shit about shit, either.

Bush, Nosferatu and More Conservatives Making Stuff Up

You'd never know it from the news reports, but our President Bush and many high-ranking members of his Republican Party, including Minnesota Senator Norm Coleman, are vampires. The same blood-sucking fiends who killed 30,000 Americans on that fateful night in June of 2001 that the gates of Hell opened and Satan's minions poured into our streets, the same vampires who killed that hot teacher Jenny Calendar, the same vampires who are even now waiting to murder your children after violating their virgin assholes with spiked and gnarled organs . Don't be fooled by the lack of reports by the conservative media, or the fact that these soulless bastards walk in sunlight and enter churches without being harmed. We've been there, and we've seen it.

These hell spawn are a constant threat to our security, and they could kill you or your child in an instant. Where do you want to fight vampires? We want to fight them and destroy them in Washington. Would you rather do it in your own house?

The brave men and women who are firebombing Washington D.C. and cleansing the Earth of NeoConservative Republicans are risking their lives so that your children can be free from vampires. We support our troops.

...Also, Joe Lieberman is a chupacabara, and Mike Savage is the reincarnation of Rasputin.

In other news, the Progress for America Voter Fund is running an ad in Minnesota in support of the war in Iraq. The ad states, among other things, that "...our enemy in Iraq is al-Qaida, the same terrorists who killed 3,000 Americans on 9-11." Which, even on the off chance it's true , is obviously missing the point.
According to the Star Trib story (which you should read), the ad should be seen an average of 10 times by each TV watcher in Minnesota, which makes us think they're spending pretty heavily on this.

It's unfortunate that people are going to believe the shit they make up, but not the shit we make up...ours is much more fun, and just about as accurate.
Edit: Also, we have these folks backing us up.

The Onion- Still Funny

Today's American Voices

Women's groups are pressuring Wal-Mart to change their
policy and start carrying the morning-after Pill. What do you think?

"It makes sense to me, because when I think about birth
control, my first thought is definitely Wal-Mart customers." -Erica Tunnison, Bartender

Just thought we'd share that with you. It occurs to us that we, as a society, don't do a good enough job of making Wal-Mart customers feel stupid.

We do our part by vocalizing our feelings of moral superiority every time a roommate brings home a Wal-Mart bag.

Blair Gets Between Chavez and Mr. Danger Bush Hitler

Just a short shout-out from the ether today. We are absolutely loving Hugo Chavez. Obviously, his rule in Venezuela is questionable at best, and it could be very worrisome in the future…but right now, it’s just kick ass political theater. And really, who the hell cares about international relations when there aren’t zany foreigners involved?

According to the Guardian, Tony Blair has recently gotten himself involved in the spat that’s been growing between Bush and Chavez. In an appearance at the House of Commons the other day, Blair questioned Venezuela’s commitment to democracy, which of course led to Chavez telling him to go straight to hell, or some such similar Venezuelan insult. And as a bonus, Chavez also insinuated that a nickname akin to Mr. Danger’s (Bush) could be forthcoming.
The funny nicknames, the accusations of spying, the Hitler comparisons and the pure political oneupmanship of offering free oil and eye surgery to each other's poor. We could hear about this shit all day.

What makes these little rows between Chavez and Bush even more entertaining is that these two are freaking perfect together. Besides obviously lacking any diplomatic finesse whatsoever, they both got into office by suspect elections, ‘earned’ their fortunes from oil, ally with an absolutely despicable country (Iran for Chavez, Saudi Arabia for Bush) and enjoy comparing other world leaders to Hitler.…but one of them is a Commie, and the other’s the biggest corporate fellatist on the planet! They’re the perfect political odd couple!
If there isn’t a sitcom about this within the year, the networks are missing out on a golden opportunity. Now that Blair is in the mix, it’s a surefire hit. (Americans love that funny accent).

…5 bonus points for us for making up a fellatio-rooted word.

What We Think About: The Stadiums

In an attempt to add both content and perspective to our little corner, we here on the Left are instituting a new feature, “What We Think About…” to the site. As an issue comes up, or if we just have nothing better to do, we’ll throw a little something down that lets you know where we stand. This could be something local, like the proposed Twins stadium, or something national or even international, like whether or not we’d take it up the butt from Osama Bin Laden for $50,000.
Then, maybe, we’ll stick a link over on the side somewhere and edit the page with articles and whatnot as the issue changes and new developments occur.
Most factual and logical arguments that support our position will be linked to only, as we’re pretty much just going with our gut here. Not trying to convince anyone of anything, just throwing down our cards. And laying down some serious pipe.


Issue the First- All these new stadiums-

With the news coming down today that the Twins aren't legally obligated to stay in the Metrodome after this season, these three individual stadium issues get the honor of being our first position post.

While we consider ourselves progressive (much as we consider ourselves plural) there are many, many times when our views part with our Democratic and Green brethren, as well as many times when we agree wholeheartedly with Republicans. On this issue, as far as we can tell, the progressives seem to be opposing all these new stadiums. It’s too much money from the state, we could put that into schools, these rich owners should build their own damn stadiums, etc. All fine and dandy points.
But we’ve never been much for dandies. Here’s where we sit on the Twins, Gophers and Vikings stadiums.

The Gophers- This one’s really a no-brainer. They’re a public university, the football team plays in probably the worst NCAA D1 stadium in the country, and a new stadium would help the program AND the university. To be perfectly honest, we’re a bit pissed they need private funding at all. And we are NOT looking forward to calling it TCF Stadium.
Anyway, go here to learn, and to help.




The Twins- It stings a little to say this, the owners being as wretched as they are, barely passable as human beings, but giving them some money doesn’t seem like a horrible idea. The Twins are a part of Minnesota, and they play in an unforgivably bad park. We consider ourselves devoted fans here, and we didn’t go to a single game last season. It’s a shitty place to play, and it’s a shitty place to watch people play…so move the fuck out already. They now have the legal permission to leave the Dome, and I don’t doubt for a second that they’ll do it. Plus, isn't that park up there pretty? Can't you just imagine sitting there on a warm summer night, staring out at the stars that blanket the skyline, waiting for Scott Baker to warm up in the bullpen?
MLB ballpark site


The Vikings- Fuck ‘em. Yeah, they’d be a lot cooler if the games were outdoors, but the team can afford a new stadium themselves, and they can afford to stay in the Metrodome. This one should be 90% on them, far as we’re concerned. The Wilfs are looking to make money on the development anyway. It’s what they do. So let them do it.

Yep. That's what we think.